The other night I was sorting through boxes, kind of like a Spring cleaning...a bit early. I stumbled across a few books that I borrowed and knew what I was going to find inside the front cover...my grandma's handwriting. My heart hurt, and in that moment, I longed for nothing more than another chance to call her on the phone.
Three years ago this August, I was riding in the car after one of my shows and held hands with my grandma as we chatted it up about the show. The next day, we went to lunch after church and she wore this beautiful yellow dress suit. That weekend would be the last time I saw her "healthy" looking and not in the hospital. Two weeks later was the beginning of a 6 week journey I'll never forget. I'll save you the personal details, but it changed my life. I had been blessed enough for 26 years to be surrounded by my close family members, and without notice, I was losing one. For some time after my grandma's death, I beat myself up over what I didn't do. I didn't call her enough, I didn't invite her to my shows enough, I didn't visit enough. If I could turn back time, I would do it differently.
But something she said the first weekend we thought we lost her rings in my ears - "You being here shows me that you love me".
Just seeing her handwriting in a book the other night brought all of these emotions flooding back, and it made me think... am I telling those who mean the most to me exactly what they mean to me? We shouldn't leave things left unsaid. Take the time each day to tell or show those you care for and love what they mean to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment