Strength + Hope = Light

People have questioned me before their curiosity with my inspirational statuses on Facebook or how I can keep a positive outlook on life. Is that real? The fact is yes, everything you see is real. What you see is what you get with me. I have no cover ups and no reason to be something I'm not. The things I do or say or write are 1. a way to help me through the problems I once have or am facing and 2. a way to help others through their struggles. I do it because I have had a lot of very difficult things that I have had to face in life and knowing where I've been, I want to help someone else who may be in a similar situation. I feel like my life experiences are meant to share with others because if I see a brother or sister struggling, especially with something similar to what I have faced, I have to be an example that there is a way to overcome and come out on the other side.

I have spent most of my life in the spotlight. Growing up, I heard folks say how "spoiled" I was or speak negatively of me because of singing and the blessed opportunities it has given me. You may have seen this child onstage performing for many crowds throughout the South and come to your own conclusions. With every good thing does come struggles. Even as a 7 year old, 11 year old, 17 year old, I faced much scrutiny and had to grow up very fast to stay afloat in the music world. I had the pressures of being better, needing to look better, sing better, dress better. The pressures were big for a child.

The pressures carried into my adult life and personal life. Some of the people I surrounded myself with and allowed into my heart brought on negative vibes and abuse. Verbal abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, physical...you name it. Some are personal and still carry painful weights that I don't share them. In that time, I was in a place of the deepest hole and nested in that dark place for some time.

I don't share this for sympathy, because quite frankly, I don't want it. (Attention actually makes me uncomfortable!) I realized a few years ago, these struggles don't and won't define me, and I will strive to be a positive light for me and others around me even when the darkness tries to take over. But I do share this to offer hope. Hope that, whatever you are facing, there is light at the end of the tunnel. There is happiness at the end of the sadness. There is a rainbow at the end of the storm. When you feel like you've reached the end of your rope, the end of your fight, there is always a bit more strength that you can find within you that will take you to the end.

Trust me. Trust me that it can be done. I'm proof. My life is proof that you can be at the darkest and lowest, and find a way out. You can be beaten down by people, by words, by situations and still come out on top. Trust me. I've been there many times. Inner-Strength. That's my secret.

So yes, those inspirational thoughts, the positive outlook: it's real. It's my strength, my armor. I hope that it can serve as strength for you. Strength will provide Hope. Hope will provide Light. Light overcomes Darkness.

Guarding Love

Love...one of the most powerful words in any language. Love can come in many shapes and sizes and mean different things based on the person and the context. But when you throw out the three words, it takes on a whole new meaning: I...Love...You.

What does "I Love You" really mean?

I have thought a lot about this recently. Those three words are thrown about so loosely when, in fact, we should be guarding that so tightly. It shouldn't be something we just say to someone but we should really be mindful of how we use those words and why. "I Love You" is a very strong and special phrase. It should be said, and SHOWN, to very select few people in our life.

I admit...those three words scare me. I don't use them often because it makes me feel so vulnerable. "I Love You" is like the window to my soul...and I don't let people in or passed that wall often. But when you get there, it is a very sincere heart and love.

Love...guard it. Hold on to it. Value it. Treasure it. And be very cautious and careful how freely you give it and to whom.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" - Proverbs 4:23

The Circle

I tend to use the word "friend" a bit too loosely. I've always been one to immediately put someone in my "friend book" upon meeting them. But as you get older, "friend" takes on a whole new meaning and you realize that your book has become a circle.

Over the last few months and even over the course of the year, I have taken beatings from those who I labeled as a friend, and felt heartbroken. Laughed at in my face, cut off completely, not acknowledged in private but only in public, used. I just couldn't understand. If I focused too much on the actions, then the beatings became worse and the pain won over.

But then in those moments, I would receive an encouraging, loving message or call from very special people in my life and I realize that my circle of friends are what carries me through and is more important than everything else. My best friend, Laura, is someone I know I can count on through thick and thin and will love me even with my faults. I have such great Godly role models - David and Pam, Jan and Ronnie, Chuck and Ruth, Mark and Nancy to show me what love can be; my Nurture Team ladies at church to be Godly women examples. My friend Tom who has been in my life for the last 7 years and will always be a part of it (and he sends me M&Ms! haha). And of course, my family.

When life gets you down or when people fail you, remember that there are those who truly love you and will always be there for you. That's why I call it "the circle". Without the circle, life would be hard. Surround yourself by people who will be an inspiration and encouragement in your life, who will bring you up when you are down, pick you up when you fall, make you laugh through your tears, and will love you with no questions. You are only as strong as the people you surround yourself by, so make it a strong circle that will not break or bend. That's where you will find true happiness, true friendship and unconditional love.

Because I know you can handle it...

I admit…I’m a rock. Ever since I was little, I have always believed that I had to be strong and carry everyone through their tears, anger and joy. I felt that if I were to break, then no one would have that rock to lean on or pick them up when they needed it the most. When I feel the cracks beginning to leak, I allow myself to wallow for about 10 minutes (some times a day if it’s worth it!) and then I seal up that crack with my inner strength and carry on.

Last week, however, my strength was tested. I had tests and procedures from 2 different doctors. After the first doctor visit, I started preparing myself mentally. I could handle it! No matter what the outcome. The next day at my second doctor visit, I was ok. The doctor said "you're a brave girl!", and all I could do was laugh and think "well yeah, if you knew what I had to go through yesterday". But it was that evening when I looked in the mirror that I almost lost it. I began to ask “Why me?”... but all I got out was “why” before I heard a voice that said “Because I know you can handle it”. Within a second, my mind was clear and at ease.

Our inner strength comes from faith. Without faith and without His strength, it would be very difficult for us to weather through our storms. When our load seems too heavy and our dam feels like it may break, we remember that God says “Because I know you can handle it”. The best part is that we will never have to do it alone.

Psalm 18:32-34
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

Be a Light

During my lunch break, I couldn’t help but think about how the weather can affect one’s mood. Thursday (and most of the week) was just so gloomy, rainy and nasty. It can make you tired, drowsy, irritable and sad, if you let it. And as I was thinking about that, it took me to a statement Pastor Mike has mentioned several times in church service.

“You are the light of the world. If the world is dark, then it’s our fault”.

On this rainy, dark Thursday, it felt like such a powerful reflection of Mike’s statement. It may be nasty out, but it sure didn’t have to affect my mood!! I could let my positive attitude and happiness be the “light” in the rain.

And the same is true for what Mike has told us many times. Our “light” – God’s love, God’s Word, Our faith – lives within us and in our hearts. When we are shining, we can touch so many and show others what a wonderful God we serve. Our light not only comes from our heart but also our actions, our words and our service.

When the world goes black, turn on your shining star and be that hope and light for our brothers and sisters to see.

Matthew 5:14-15:

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house

Letting Go

Last month, my job flew me out to Detroit, MI to watch a tour concert that I had worked on this year. The tour was called The Story, and the music is 18 songs that are written in the first person perspective from various characters in the Bible. It was so neat to see something I worked so hard and long on come to life, and I was so blessed to be sitting there watching all of it unfold into "the story".

 

But one of the things that I remember about that day took place hours before show time. During these tours, all artists, staff, and crew members gather for devotion time and also to pray over each seat in the church or arena. On this specific day, Max Lucado led all of us in devotion. It truly was a neat experience for me, as I have been a fan of Max Lucado's writing and to be listening to him talk to about 25 of us was a bit surreal! Giving us a choice of 2 different options, the unanimous vote was for a devotion about anxiety. (I mean, how fitting!)

 

As I sat there and listened to Max talk, I couldn't help but think "wow, this is definitely for me today and during this short trip!" (I'm scared of flying and I kept thinking about my flight home that next morning). But one thing Max said hit me like a ton of bricks...

 

"If God gives you the challenge, He will give you the wisdom, but He won't give you the wisdom until He gives you the challenge."

 

Wow.

 

Ok let's think about that for a second.

 

"If God gives you the challenge, He will give you the wisdom, but He won't give you the wisdom until He gives you the challenge."

 

So you mean to tell me that all of this stuff I worry about (ie flying home the next day) is pointless? Because 99% of the stuff we worry about doesn't happen? Well, Max, you sure know how to bring me back to reality!

 

You see, we spend so much time worrying about what tomorrow, next week, or next month will bring to us that we lose sight of the moment. Like Max said, God knows our best interests and He would never put us into any situation without preparing us, so why worry about something until it actually happens? Because of God's promise, we can rest assured in knowing that when that time comes, we will already have our battle weapons ready to fight successfully.

 

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God" - Phil 4:6

 

"Therefore I tell you, stop being perpetually uneasy about your life" - Matt 6:25

 

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you" - Luke 11:9

One Day Love Will Wear the Crown...

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote to you about a song called "Be Born In Me" that was written in Mary's perspective. As I said then, that song brought to light the beginning of the greatest story ever told.

 

Fast forward centuries to the ending of the greatest story ever told. Although we do not know when that day will be, we do know that it will be a celebration!

 

One day Love will wear the crown; one day Love will set us free
Hands up high and faces down; angels teaching us to sing
He will be King, He will be King

He will be the new sunrise
Steal the darkness from our eyes
When we fail to find the words
Holy, Holy we will cry
He will be the new sunrise
Holy, Holy we will cry
On the great day

 

This song is called "On The Great Day" and is written about the Second Coming, the final chapter and best ending to any story we could ever read. Can you imagine the angels teaching us to sing to our God? Our harmonious sound singing praises at the feet of our King...wow, what a beautiful choir that will be!

 

My favorite Bible verses are from Philippians 2:9-11:

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

 

Close your eyes and see this.  Every knee will bow.

 

Wow. It gives me chills.

 

All creatures, great or small, will one day bow together at the feet of Jesus, and we will sing with the angels a beautiful song to our King.

 

Now that’s a standing ovation worthy ending!

I Am Yours

I am not brave

I’ll never be

The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy

I’m just a girl

Nothing more

But I am willing, I am Yours

 

Be born in me

Be born in me

Trembling heart, somehow I believe

That You chose me

I’ll hold you in the beginning

You will hold me in the end

Every moment in the middle

Make my heart your Bethlehem

Be born in me

 

These lyrics are from a song called “Be Born In Me” that is told from Mary’s perspective. I can’t even imagine what Mary was feeling and all of the questions that were going through her mind.

 

“Why me? I’m nobody. I am just a young girl. But I’ve been chosen and have this huge responsibility that has been entrusted on me. I can’t do this! Am I capable? Will I make God proud with His decision?”

 

I would’ve been so scared! Yet Mary understood the significance of what was happening and her role in the beginning of the greatest story ever told….the birth of Jesus Christ. Mary gave her son to God, and God gave His Son for us.

 

We have all been blessed by Jesus coming to earth and humbling Himself to be born as a baby and die for our sins. And as we think about that this holiday season, let us prayerfully ask that He make our heart His Bethlehem.

 

Be born in me, Jesus.

Bring on 2012

On Saturday, New Year's Eve, I couldn't help but notice a common theme with facebook statuses: out with the old, in with the new. As I really thought about that, it made me think about how we are so ready to move forward, and I told my sister that it was as if we are wishing away our time. Don't get me wrong, I am ready for 2012 too! But as you get older, it does seem like life goes by way too quickly. When you're young, there are no worries and time feels like it stands still, but as you get older, a year goes by in the blink of an eye. Someone told me when I was younger that once you graduate high school, life races by. Boy isn't that the truth!

But as I reflect on another year that has passed, I start to think about the last 365 days differently. No longer does it feel like a year that I so badly want to close the books on and throw away, but it becomes the wisdom to open another chapter in life. The way I see it is that 2011 gave me the tools, the knowledge and the strength to continue through life and into another year, and I am beyond excited to see how those will be used and what I can do with them. It's like growing and striving for new things. What makes us look forward to another year are the new possibilities, the new opportunities and the anticipation for what tomorrow may bring. Leaving a year and welcoming another is a building block for our goals, our hopes, and our dreams. We are constantly striving, aiming and achieving. We never fully reach our potential because then what fun would it be? We wouldn't have anything to look forward to and quite frankly, it means we stopped dreaming.


So instead of trying to shut the doors on 2011, embrace it and be thankful that it has made you the person you are. Even if 2011 went down as the worst year in history, just think about how much stronger it has made you, and turn it into something positive as it will make you a better person in 2012 and in years to come. Turn to 2012 with the armor that 2011 equipped you with, and look forward to more memories, more dreams and a better, stronger you.